“unicorns are a bit of sweet and spice”
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:(
Tuesday, 9 September 2014 || 08:10
Have been feeling down recently. Blogging is probably the best way to express my feelings.
The thing is.. I MISS HIM. I STILL DO. ALOT. I get really sad whenever i see things related to him. I really want to break down but i'm not strong enough to. It's like, i love him so much. So much. More than i could ever love any other person. But, he's like, doing fine without me. I really hate it. His snapchat best friend, another girl. I don't know what to feel. I mean like, i trust him but..
I HAVE TO STAY STRONG. I can't give up just like that. I want to text him. I really want to. Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey is all i wanted to say. I'm fighting the urge but.. it's gonna come out soon. I still have almost a month till I can't freely talk to him. My heart aches. I cant do anything. I want to die. I hate feeling this way. I fucking hate myself for being so reckless. I regret everything i do and it sucked. It's hard to bottle my feelings, i don't go out anymore. I'm just staying home. Just home. Friends preparing for exams, friends having their own lives and i'm here, home and alone. It's hard.
I miss him, but i dont even know whether he will come back. Whether he still loves me. Whether he had changed. I might not love who he is now. I don't know. This is bullshit. All these are stupid. Love is stupid. I want him back. SO FUCKING MUCH. I have no one to blame but myself for this. It's my fault that he left me. I should accept it.